So my intention of this blog was to talk about setting up my childminding business & a little about my crafting & general life things. If you read my previous blog post you'll have seen that my grandfather got diagnosed with Mesothelioma, a type of cancer on the lining of his lung. This obviously took us all by surprise & has made me extremely emotional, even more than usual.
I felt like I needed to write down what I was feeling, I went back & fore with myself as to whether or not to post it but I just felt a little relieved when I pressed send... Just getting it out there made me feel a little more calm. Even though I really don't feel calm in any way. It's been a crazy week of emotions, from me, feeling like an utter failure at everything I do, feeling like my Bamp will never be able to be proud of me. It's also been a crazy week of appointments and things to do. Needed to take my grandmother shopping, I needed to go to the bank, the job centre, the doctors surgery.
I also needed to take my Nan for her pre-op check, she is having surgery on a lump in her saliva glands, that luckily isn't cancerous, the surgery is going to be 3 hours long & she has to have a anaesthetic.... Hopefully. They may decide that because of her Parkinson's disease they won't be able to do it, which will not be good as the lump will grow & could become cancerous. Twice whilst I was at the hospital with Nan did I have to stop myself crying as she was talking to the Nurses she told them about my Bamp& I could see her getting upset & it breaks my heart. I am very close to my grandparents & it's just so harsh & horrible that this is happening. So that was Thursday.
Friday was Bamps first chemo session, originally I was taking him as I was the only one available as aunts & uncles were in work, however it turned out that my one uncle was given the day off & as he was supposed to be having a knee operation he would take them as that would be the last bit of driving he could do for 6 weeks, more on that in a minute. So Uncle N took my Nan&Bamp for the first chemo session, I went to the house when they got back, he talked a little about it, mainly because I asked questions. I read the paperwork & looked at his tablets, checked that my Nan was okay & then came home. Hopefully the chemo won't affect him in any way that will make him ill but only time will tell with that.
And so that brings us to today, Saturday, as mentioned above my Uncle N was supposed to be having a knee operation today but unfortunately it got cancelled last minute as his blood levels were too high when they did the tests on Wednesday. So this is not good news, although he was dreading the op and not being able to go out & drive, he needed it done asap as he is in a lot of pain & he has decided that if he can't get it done before January he's going to wait until July because of their wedding in May. I understand in a way why he wants to wait until after the wedding. It the last thing we need is for him to be in severe pain & doing more damage.
So yea, they say things come in threes & there they are, my Nan, my Bamp & my uncle. Let's just please keep our fingers crossed as I don't think any of us can take any more.