A healthier me

Hey,

So as its the new year & pretty much everyone makes resolutions that they barely keep. I'm not making resolutions as such,  I made a list '30 things to do before I'm 30' & said that I'm not making resolutions as such but I plan on getting things crossed off the list.

One of those things is to meet my ideal weight, 10 stone. I'm not doing this for any other reasons than its better for my general health & I want to feel better in my own skin. I wouldn't say I was particularly fat or overweight or that anyone else makes me feel that way I just don't really feel comfortable in most of my clothes lately & I can't really afford a brand new wardrobe full of clothes... However much I would love that shopping trip..haha.

So to meet this aim of becoming my ideal weight I will following the weight watchers points like I done earlier on in the year & cutting out fizzy drinks, with the exception of lemonade when I go to restaurants.... I rarely drunk fizzy drinks any ways however lately I've been drinking a lot of Coca Cola so that will be stopping.

I have also vowed to not buy any chocolate or sweets in January. Mainly to lose weight but also because I have enough chocolate and sweets at home and at D's house. I will limit myself to what I do eat but once it's gone I won't be buying more during January.

I'm not sure if I will post a weekly update of my weight loss, part of me wants to as I feel it will add pressure to me to keep on track but on the other hand I feel like it's too much pressure for me to blog & I don't want that sort of pressure when I'm hopefully returning to work, so it may be a monthly update of my process instead. We will just go with the flow for now. So wish me luck & give me encouragement to lose the weight I've put on in the last year.

Love Coco,

🎆P.S HAPPY NEW YEAR 🎆

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30 things to do before I'm 30

Hey,

So with the new year fast approaching its the time when people think about what this resolutions are going to be, I usually make a few but never fully complete them, so this year I thought I would do something different & create a list of things I want to do before I'm 30 years old, which will be August 2018. I will update regularly.... Say every 3 months?? I'll post this list with checks or updates to let you all know how I'm getting on.


Here's the list;

Travel:
- [ ] Rome
- [ ] Australia (neighbours set)
- [ ] America (Hollywood)
- [ ] Paris
- [ ] New York

Money;
- [ ] Save money for IVF (£3000+)
- [ ] Save money for emergencies (£1000+)
- [ ] Be comfortable with monthly income & outgoings

Love;
- [ ] Move in with Dan
- [ ] Love myself more (be more confident & care less about others)
- [ ] Be totally surprised by an amazing romantic gesture/weekend


Day/Weekend Trips
- [ ] National history museum
- [ ] Night out drinking London
- [ ] Cadbury world
- [ ] Walk Pen-Y-Fan
- [ ] Weekend at the beach- Tenby
- [ ] Visit ; Bristol Zoo, Longleat, West Midlands Safari Park


Treat myself;
- [ ] Head to Toe spa day
- [ ] Decent family car
- [ ] Hot air balloon ride
- [ ] Find the perfect little black dress
- [ ] Go to a homesense uk store


Work;
- [ ] Complete the childminding course
- [ ] Set up my own business
- [ ] Be successful (have a good name for myself)


General;
- [ ] Read all the books on my bookshelf
- [ ] Take part in a charity run
- [ ] Do something amazing for charity
- [ ] Meet my ideal weight (under 10stone)
- [ ] Meet a blogger/internet friend




Do you have any resolutions in mind or things you want to achieve in the next few years? Let me know. 

Love Coco, 

Tough Love.....

Hey…. So if you've read my previous blog posts then you'll see the last few have been negative & moany. I'm tough on myself… I beat myself up on too many things. Everyone has flaws but I focus more on mine than anyone else I know. It is extremely rare that I give myself a compliment…. Even in my head. I always see pictures or read blog posts on how to be better, how to improve your life or mind, but I recently became very interested in a blog & I read every single blog post from the beginning & found myself connecting with this person & feeling very similar to some of her posts. If you want to read her blog click here.


Recently Sarah posted a ‘3 reasons to cut yourself some slack’ post & to be honest it came at the perfect time as I was feeling really fed up & it gave me a boost. The 3 reasons were;

You're only human
No one knows everything
You'll learn the best lessons

I'm not going to go too much into Sarah's reasons as obviously I think you should check her blog out. So here's my insight into it…

You're only human- when something goes wrong, when I think I've done something wrong I act like I'm the only person who it's happened to or who has made that mistake… I feel like I've totally failed & in all honesty I haven't. I'm just too harsh on myself. Everyone makes mistakes as long as you learn from them then it's a positive.

No one knows everything- I judge myself based on everyone else. I always worry about what other people will say or think about me. I always think that other people are better than me. But when I properly think about it no they don't… They may be smarter than me about certain topics but then I've had many life experiences that they possibly haven't. There is no way one single person can know everything!

You'll learn the best lessons- this ties in with the you're only human one… When I make mistakes I usually learn from them. I've been through some tough times, even from a little one, but without things being the way they were I wouldn't be who I am now, I'm kind, caring, thoughtful & regularly put others before myself  & as my girlfriend tells me I could of turned out to be completely different person & gotten in a lot of trouble.


Everyone has down days I know this but I seriously need to remember to give myself a break when I feel down & remember it's just one day!
So hopefully soon there will be some more positive & happy posts coming soon.

Love Coco

Living in hell.....

So things are really getting on top of me this week. Well this weekend just gone. The stress of everything happening is still there but now I have the added stress of my father & stepmother staying with me for ten days.

Now this is complicated to start with as the house that I live in is technically theirs & I have also never lived with my father. When I split from my ex I was still living in the one bedroom flat that we had shared for 6 years & at first she had moved out but a few months later she decided to move back in which meant I moved to the living room & turned it into a bedsit type which was uncomfortable but not as uncomfortable as sharing a bathroom & kitchen with your ex. So luckily for me my stepmother & father decided to buy a house in my hometown near to my family & that I would live in it & pay the bills but as I couldn't afford to live on my own completely they would pay the mortgage. Which obviously made me very happy & is basically my inheritance. The house is two bedrooms & a decent size. My parents decided that the one room would be theirs & that they would probably come down one weekend a month.

Now I'm not trying to sound selfish or ungrateful but when you are used to living on your own for most of the year it's hard work having two other people there for a weekend…the problem lies in that when they are down for the weekend they treat it like their own place & not my home. I live there 365 days a year, it's my home, I have my own ways of doing things so when someone else comes into your home & starts taking over… The kitchen, the tv, and moving things it really gets my back up. The amount of times I have gone to get something from the cupboard to find its either been used or isn't there. I have tolerance for this on for a weekend but this time they are here for ten days. It's only day three & I've already cried twice, had a rant every day to my girlfriend & got really wound up.

I just feel claustrophobic & uncomfortable in my own home & in all honesty I can't wait to have the place to myself again. Hope your weekend was better than mine & I hope my week will be better.

Love Coco

What a week......

Hey,

So my intention of this blog was to talk about setting up my childminding business & a little about my crafting & general life things. If you read my previous blog post you'll have seen that my grandfather got diagnosed with Mesothelioma, a type of cancer on the lining of his lung. This obviously took us all by surprise & has made me extremely emotional, even more than usual.

I felt like I needed to write down what I was feeling, I went back & fore with myself as to whether or not to post it but I just felt a little relieved when I pressed send... Just getting it out there made me feel a little more calm. Even though I really don't feel calm in any way. It's been a crazy week of emotions, from me, feeling like an utter failure at everything I do, feeling like my Bamp will never be able to be proud of me. It's also been a crazy week of appointments and things to do. Needed to take my grandmother shopping, I needed to go to the bank, the job centre, the doctors surgery.

 I also needed to take my Nan for her pre-op check, she is having surgery on a lump in her saliva glands, that luckily isn't cancerous, the surgery is going to be 3 hours long & she has to have a anaesthetic.... Hopefully. They may decide that because of her Parkinson's disease they won't be able to do it, which will not be good as the lump will grow & could become cancerous. Twice whilst I was at the hospital with Nan did I have to stop myself crying as she was talking to the Nurses she told them about my Bamp& I could see her getting upset & it breaks my heart. I am very close to my grandparents & it's just so harsh & horrible that this is happening. So that was Thursday.

Friday was Bamps first chemo session, originally I was taking him as I was the only one available as aunts & uncles were in work, however it turned out that my one uncle was given the day off & as he was supposed to be having a knee operation he would take them as that would be the last bit of driving he could do for 6 weeks, more on that in a minute. So Uncle N took my Nan&Bamp for the first chemo session, I went to the house when they got back, he talked a little about it, mainly because I asked questions. I read the paperwork & looked at his tablets, checked that my Nan was okay & then came home. Hopefully the chemo won't affect him in any way that will make him ill but only time will tell with that.

And so that brings us to today, Saturday, as mentioned above my Uncle N was supposed to be having a knee operation today but unfortunately it got cancelled last minute as his blood levels were too high when they did the tests on Wednesday. So this is not good news, although he was dreading the op and not being able to go out & drive, he needed it done asap as he is in a lot of pain & he has decided that if he can't get it done before January he's going to wait until July because of their wedding in May. I understand in a way why he wants to wait until after the wedding. It the last thing we need is for him to be in severe pain & doing more damage.

So yea, they say things come in threes & there they are, my Nan, my Bamp & my uncle. Let's just please keep our fingers crossed as I don't think any of us can take any more.