What a week......

Hey,

So my intention of this blog was to talk about setting up my childminding business & a little about my crafting & general life things. If you read my previous blog post you'll have seen that my grandfather got diagnosed with Mesothelioma, a type of cancer on the lining of his lung. This obviously took us all by surprise & has made me extremely emotional, even more than usual.

I felt like I needed to write down what I was feeling, I went back & fore with myself as to whether or not to post it but I just felt a little relieved when I pressed send... Just getting it out there made me feel a little more calm. Even though I really don't feel calm in any way. It's been a crazy week of emotions, from me, feeling like an utter failure at everything I do, feeling like my Bamp will never be able to be proud of me. It's also been a crazy week of appointments and things to do. Needed to take my grandmother shopping, I needed to go to the bank, the job centre, the doctors surgery.

 I also needed to take my Nan for her pre-op check, she is having surgery on a lump in her saliva glands, that luckily isn't cancerous, the surgery is going to be 3 hours long & she has to have a anaesthetic.... Hopefully. They may decide that because of her Parkinson's disease they won't be able to do it, which will not be good as the lump will grow & could become cancerous. Twice whilst I was at the hospital with Nan did I have to stop myself crying as she was talking to the Nurses she told them about my Bamp& I could see her getting upset & it breaks my heart. I am very close to my grandparents & it's just so harsh & horrible that this is happening. So that was Thursday.

Friday was Bamps first chemo session, originally I was taking him as I was the only one available as aunts & uncles were in work, however it turned out that my one uncle was given the day off & as he was supposed to be having a knee operation he would take them as that would be the last bit of driving he could do for 6 weeks, more on that in a minute. So Uncle N took my Nan&Bamp for the first chemo session, I went to the house when they got back, he talked a little about it, mainly because I asked questions. I read the paperwork & looked at his tablets, checked that my Nan was okay & then came home. Hopefully the chemo won't affect him in any way that will make him ill but only time will tell with that.

And so that brings us to today, Saturday, as mentioned above my Uncle N was supposed to be having a knee operation today but unfortunately it got cancelled last minute as his blood levels were too high when they did the tests on Wednesday. So this is not good news, although he was dreading the op and not being able to go out & drive, he needed it done asap as he is in a lot of pain & he has decided that if he can't get it done before January he's going to wait until July because of their wedding in May. I understand in a way why he wants to wait until after the wedding. It the last thing we need is for him to be in severe pain & doing more damage.

So yea, they say things come in threes & there they are, my Nan, my Bamp & my uncle. Let's just please keep our fingers crossed as I don't think any of us can take any more.

The C Word

You've just been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. It's on the lining of your lung… It's not curable. Yes you can have chemotherapy, but all that's going to do is prolong the inevitable. I just can't believe this is happening. I just want you to know that I love you with all my heart and that I will look after Nanny the whole time. 



My grandfather just got diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. Caused by asbestos many many years ago. The cure…. Well there isn't one. This type of cancer forms less than 1% of those diagnosed with cancer in the UK. It affects the protective  lining of many organs in the body.

Bamp has been ill for a while… Started with a chest infection which just wouldn't clear up. They figured out he had fluid on the lung that just wasn't shifting like it usually should. So had to have a drain… We thought all was going to be ok. Waited for a follow up appointment & they decided they had to drain fluid again as the lung had filled back up & also to have a biopsy.
Now whenever I hear about someone having a biopsy I always start to think that it's not going to be good news, just from previous experiences it hasn't been, and unfortunately I was right.

Friday 13th November 2015 I took you & Nanny for your appointment at our local hospital… You were pretty much yourself in the car on the way down even though I knew you were worried. The fact that you told me to wait in the waiting room made me worried…. You knew it wasn't going to be good news. I could tell when you walked out the room …. You stood there and told me it was a form of cancer and that you had to see another specialist. My heart sank further…. You've always been a strong man, a  man who has worked all his life, a man who is so stubborn … But at that moment you looked so different.

Come forward to today, November 17th…. You went to meet the specialist. My auntie took you this time, another set of ears to listen. The doctor told you all you needed to know… It wasn't curable but they could try and prolong it. Chemotherapy starts soon. You need to take care especially at this time of year of being around those with colds, those who haven't had the flu jab it's advised you don't be around them. From what the doctor said it sounds like they'll take good care of you, they have a hotline available 24/7… No matter what it is if you or anyone else is worried then you can call anytime.  They'll keep an eye on you & the side affects, monitor your blood, and everything else. Sounds like you will be well looked after and supported. Not only by the professionals but by us , all your family too. They say the figure is 50% of patients survive 12 months.

You've got to keep strong & positive, you've got to walk your daughter down the aisle in May & watch my dad get married for the second time in October. Use your stubbornness to fight this horrible thing for as long as possible. Be one of the 50% …. Please!